Soul Food

 MARACA TO THE FACE, ANYONE?

 SILLY, HAPPY BOY

 THE RARELY PHOTOGRAPHED TOOTHY SMILE

 

 NEW CROCHETED PEACH BOW (A LOVELY GIFT)

 

 RIDING THE TRAIN SOLO 

 

 SLIDES! 

 BANANAS IN THE BACKSEAT 

 

 BANANA DATE COBBLER

This week was reinvigorating, soul food. Ezra and I packed up our bags and headed down to stay with my mama in Kansas City for a couple of days. A change of scenery felt refreshing and Ezra had such a kick out of the Family Entertainment Center at The Great Mall in Olathe, KS. He rode his first rollercoaster (with me at his side of course), laughing and "whooo"ing all the way. With so much indoor time I think we both needed to run and be outside of our happy home, communing and remembering that hibernation doesn't last forever. 

This weekend is looking to be full and I couldn't be happier at the opportunities we have to share our time with people we love. Without our park trips, backyard playing, and long walks I so cherish the time we have outside, even if it is in a loved one's home or mall walking with friends (and their wee ones) or dancing to live music late into the night. It is not the outside of sunshine and grass, but it is outside none the less. I need to commune and share and be "outdoors" or else I start to feel small and get caught up in less than stellar ways of thinking. I need perspective and humility and community to thrive. I am learning that I need these things more than I ever previously believed and that seeking them out feeds the heart of my family. 

Wishing you a happy and healthy weekend!

Namaste. 

Tara

This Week/ The Funk

 BANANA DATE ALMOND MILKSHAKE

 TRYING ON MAMA'S STYLE

 THE LAST OF OUR FRESH TOMATOES IN THE WINTER SUN

 NEW BOOK

 

This week I've been in a little bit of a funk. It's probably some combination of the crazy weather (from a record breaking 73 degrees - we were walking in tee shirts - to negative 2 degrees last night), a backache because of the crazy weather, less than stellar sleep, and Ezra's intense emotions this week. But with this roller coaster that has been the last seven days there have also been these huge leaps and bounds in Ez's language. He is intelligibly saying so much more it seems out of no where. His language skills have always been great, but this last week there has been tremendous growth. "Mates" (tomatoes), "Pouts" (sprouts), "Tea", "Garoo" (kangaroo), "Broom", "Kit" (kitty), "Lawa" (lara bar), and so many more along with very definitive "yes" and "no"s with head shakes. Language is amazing and watching it grow in another even more so, but with a lot of new usually brings a lot of intensity and this week was definitely no exception. So many lovely and clear words brought with them lots of screaming, meltdowns, and clinging. Ah, it must be difficult to be a little one. I know for sure that sometimes it's difficult to be mama.

As I am typing this I hear him giggle from his room, presumably telling secrets to his bear as he falls asleep and I can't help but giggle myself. Man, I just love that crazy little person. Here's to some personal care (hello new book, candles, and heating pad), warmer weather, and hopefully some calm down on the baby front.

 ENJOYING OUR 'MATES

I hope you all have a great weekend! Tonight is all about relaxation for us and I believe tomorrow a 'painting the bathroom date night' is in order. Party animals!

Namaste peeps!

Tara

Clearing Out The Clutter

Oh, how I love a clean kid's room! Not necessarily clean in the traditional sense, but the best clean, the clean of everything having a place to go at the end of the day. After Christmas I was feeling a little overwhelmed by the toy situation in the Prana Mama house. Ezra's room was crowded by (totally awesome) new playthings. Of course I felt so much gratitude for the beautiful gifts that our child had been given, but I also felt like if I stepped on another stuffed animal I was going to freak the f out. I could tell Ez was feeling it too. With so much new he would bounce around his room not knowing what to play with (or where to play with it in our limited space). So when the amazing husband took Ezra to the hardware store with him this past weekend I jumped on the opportunity to declutter that child's room. (I'm sure Ezra would not have been as thrilled to go if he had known they were picking up more toddler-proofing items!)

With the boys out of the house I played some tunes, put on the obligatory cleaning/moving lady bandana, and got to work. I bagged up the donate piles (mainly toys, books, and clothes Ezra had grown past) and began organizing all of the keeps. I created a system of rotation, putting back similar toys, animals, blocks, etc... to be cycled throughout the next year. Everything was then boxed up and put away with some time to spare to create a little tableau of toys (and a much needed quick vacuuming).

It was a simple thing to do (and I know many of you probably have similar systems), but I tell you what if it didn't make all of the difference in the world. The space felt like it could breath again and I knew Ezra would now be able to enjoy the thoughtful gifts he had received fully. Of course it all ends up strewn across the house throughout the day (that's just a part of the toddler gig), but clean-up at the end of the day is much smoother now that everything has it's place.

We all (especially children) crave simplicity and shut down with too much stimulation. I know decluttering always make me feel better, lighter. A clean house follows a clean mind, right? - Maybe it's the other way around. I know for me the two go hand in hand. We have been riding high on a lot of the recent changes we have decided to make in our home (more on that later) leading to lots of inventory taking and clearing out the clutter (in more than just our physical home). It feels good to be light, clear minded and with a clean kitchen counter! 

I hope 2013 is treating you kindly so far, full of love and abundance (and maybe some decluttering)!

Namaste.

Tara

In The Changing Fortunes of Time

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.


Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.


Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.


Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.


You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.


Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.


With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.


Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.






Ah, so many changes, so much to say...



With some calm and perseverance the puzzle pieces all fell into place. Deep breath out. Gratitude.

I am still trying to get my head around all of these changes and am reeling from the logistics, but all I can do today is be grateful. More on what this all means soon, but know that I am feeling much better, excited even. Thank you all for your sweet words and well wishes!

I hope you all are having a beautiful week! I promise more proper posts once the dust settles.

Tara

Over The Moon

So I'm riding pretty high on the wonderfulness that has been these last several days. Our weekend was full of good friends and celebration (and probably staying up way too late but totally worth it). I felt renewed and full of love heading into this week.

Sunday and Monday I was able to catch up on some much needed sleep and relax and play with that awesome little boy. I am learning that he is a little claustrophobic about overstimulation, so I have backed off a bit with my need to engage him in such a direct way. He seems to be perfectly content to crawl around and play at his own leisure and pace with brief interruptions of books, songs, and games. And whatever makes him happy makes me happy, so I'm learning to leave my boy to it. Loving him means giving him the space that he needs and I'm falling even more in love through my view from the sidelines. I can already see how fiercely independent he is and the best thing I can do is foster a peaceful, open environment for him to explore and learn. Breathe in. Breathe out. Let go. 

In addition to a great couple of days at our homestead, one of my closest friend's gave birth to a beautiful baby girl last week. (I'm so proud of you Amber! You're an amazing mother, a great friend, and total badass. I love you, mama!) On Monday I was able to stop by and give them both lots of love. Oh, this baby is the calmest, sweetest little bundle of joy you have ever seen and that newborn baby smell...it's just too lovely. Ezra's new playmate is such a sweetheart and her mother is doing amazingly well. It brings me so much joy to see someone I deeply care for in such a happy and loving place. And I'm about to tear up writing this, so on to the next...

To follow up a wonderful weekend, yesterday we hit a HUGE milestone. HUGE. Ezra stayed the full day at Mother's Day Out (10 AM-3 PM). He finally had a full and fun-filled day with his friends. I called and checked in at our normal time (usually to hear that he is quite tired, but unable to nap) only to find that he played well and ate well and actually took a nice, full nap in a place outside of our home. HE DID IT! WE DID IT! (sigh of relief) I am over the moon about this. I am happy that he is able to enjoy his time and feel completely comfortable playing with his buddies. As an only child and us being quiet homebodies, this experience is such a good thing for him and I'm just thrilled that he is loving it.

And to top it all off after an awesome day at Mother's Day Out we headed over to a Children's Fair with some of our favorite ladies (and the adorable baby Avi). We had a good time, but most of the events were centered towards children a little older. Ezra sure did get a kick out of the wildlife rescue area though, staring wide-eyed and in awe at the tiny owl as long as he could see him. After taking in what we could of the fair us mamas walked up the street to dinner at a local Cajun restaurant. The babies wailed and laughed and we enjoyed some good adult conversation over yummy food. Ezra was a big fan of my veggie scampi delight and as long I kept passing the zucchini he was thrilled to be there. I love having the opportunity to get out with other mamas and build that community that I think we all really need. Seeing Ezra play and interact with his baby buddies only reaffirms it more. Long story short, I had a great night and I think I should do things like that more often.

Life is full of such highs and lows and I'm learning to appreciate them all just as they are. This week and all of its sweetness is turning out to be such a lovely little high and I am filled with gratitude. There is lots on the agenda, but it's all connected to something that brings my heart joy so I'm just feeling pretty great about the next several days.

Happy Wednesday everybody! I hope you're having an awesome week!

-Tara

Crazy Good

This last week and a half has been intense and hilarious and totally awesome. I have not set down with my laptop for days as I have been running around chasing a newly mobile baby, trying to plan a mini vacation (more on that later, I promise), helping the little guy stay calm with three new teeth emerging, working, and generally trying to enjoy this unseasonably amazing weather we are currently experiencing in MO!

Oh, it's been crazy around here, but the great kind of crazy that makes you happy to be alive and to be loved by such wonderful people. I am lucky. I am so very lucky. My baby is beautiful and happy and makes me laugh so much it's silly. I am beaming today. I am happy to be a part of this lovely little family and am riding high on that joy. I hope you all are having a wonderful week! Sending so much love to all of you!

Namaste!

Tara

Sigh of Relief

So we got the call this morning from Ezra's pediatrician and his x-rays look completely normal. The biggest YAY for the best news I have ever heard in my life! So far they can see no developmental restrictions and the plan is simply to keep an eye on his head growth. They will be checking his head circumference at his 4 month check up, but until then there is absolutely no reason to worry. 


I don't think I have ever felt such joy and relief. 


"We can only be said to be alive when our hearts are conscious of our treasures."
- Thornton Wilder

Namaste!
Tara

About Last Night

Last night after putting Ezra to bed and enjoying a couple precious hours of sleep myself I was awoken by what sounded like a firing squad of golf balls.  The pounding on the windows came out of nowhere and as my eyes opened I saw the flash of lightning illuminate the room. It was a bad storm which is nothing special in the Midwest, but this one was BAD. I have never heard hail like that and the wind made it seem like the house could be picked up at any moment. It was seriously scary. The whole house had been roused, waiting in fear for the worst of it to pass...and Ezra was sleeping. As hail slammed against our home, wind whooshed past the bedroom windows, and lightning lit up the sky my baby slept like, well, a baby. By the time he was up for his first overnight feeding the storm had moved on and all was once again calm.

Stepping outside this morning I found the damage that had been done to our backyard. The large tree, giving our yard most of its shade and providing a home to many little creatures, had been hit by lightning. The tree's largest branch has been split apart from the base and was caught only by our garage. We are seriously lucky. I mean crazy fortunate. If our garage hadn't been there or it had been struck at a different angle most of the tree would have gone through the front windshield of our car. Gratitude. Gratitude. Gratitude. Beyond the damage caused by the tree, our electricity meter was ripped out of the brick outside our home, the lines now running through the yard. Compared to most though we are incredibly lucky. 

Driving through town on my way to the store this morning downed trees and power lines littered the streets. I had to take a long detour to what is normally a 5 minute drive to avoid it all. A large portion of the city is out of power and quite a few homes were damaged by the storm. We are so lucky that it was just our one little tree and that it fell in such a way that we were spared any major expense.

Today we are counting our blessings and sending out support to those who suffered damage from this crazy storm. Wishing you all a beautiful and safe weekend!

Namaste. 

Tara

Sacred Space

First off, thank you all for your kind words. My fears about sharing the struggles I have been facing were completely calmed and your insight has helped me immensely. You are officially the best.


With the whirlwind of emotion I have been in lately I have been seeking the care and advice of a few good ladies. A couple days ago I found some time to talk to a great "mama friend" (and all around amazing gal) about all this hullaballoo. She is one of those friends who always gives you so much insight and wisdom that you almost hate how in tune she is, but then you remember that you love it. Ha! So of course when stuff started to get crazy in the old noggin' I gave her a ring and of course she was loving and patient and gave me some uber awesome advice. One of the things she said has really been resonating with me the last couple of days. Basically the gist is to allow yourself sacred space and time just for you every..single...day. Whether it's five minutes of calming meditation or an hour to take a walk, whatever brings you ease and peace of mind (and works with your schedule).


The concept is so simple and I have spoken before about making time for yourself so I completely understand how important that can be. The idea of ritualizing it though is very attractive to me. Every single day doing the same thing at the same time just for you. Obviously we can't all be that rigid with our schedules and flexibility is a virtue, but prioritizing yourself in that way I think is quite amazing. To be our best selves for the people we care about we must take care and be gentle with ourselves. We all deserve a little "me" time to regroup, refocus and sometimes just to rest. 


I am trying to put this concept into action with my long baths in the morning followed by the best thing ever, the NAP. Nothing unwinds me like a nice, calming bath. I mean seriously, is there anything better than a good bath? Maybe I'm a little overzealous about the awesomeness of bathtime- friends have definitely laughed and joked about my love for them. What can I say? It makes me super happy. I allow myself time to think, relax, and soothe from whatever the day has presented. It is my mindful meditation, helping me become present and accepting. And now with the little one's arrival it also helps me heal physically. Taking some time in the water eases the tense muscles (as well as a tense mind) brought on by the physical strain of having a newborn. Follow that greatness up with a nap and you are fresh as new, with a present heart and rested body. 

 My dream tub. I mean c'mon, how rad is this?

Allowing myself the time and freedom to do these things, to create "sacred space" for myself, is what will allow me to be my highest self. I am fortunate enough to have a truly amazing partner that acknowledges my needs and gives me that time and space completely guilt-free. In fact it is very much encouraged. (I think he sees how much of a difference it makes and wants to keep the mean, sleep deprived lady I become far, far away!) I am filled with gratitude for this time and hope that I will continue to take advantage of it. 


We all need the time and space to engage in things that bring us peace. We all need that time just for ourselves to be our best selves. Make the time I guarantee you will reap the benefits. You deserve it. 


Namaste. 
Tara

...And Breathe Out

This weekend was amazing. We spent a great night out with friends as my mom watched the little man. Spending most of the time talking about our babes at home, sharing the beauty and the struggles, it was reaffirming and invigorating. Having an adult conversation and a couple of drinks was so lovely and exactly what I needed. It can be so easy to get completely wrapped up in all that is having a newborn and to step away for just a moment did a world of good. As we drove home I couldn't wait to get back to Ezra, to hold him close and gaze at his beautiful little face.

The rest of the weekend was spent lounging with my boys, really relaxing together as a family for the first time since Ez's birth. We all needed a good couple of days to just lay in bed, cuddle, and watch bad tv. Saturday Ezra turned one month old and we all celebrated with lots of kisses and naps. There is something inherently wonderful about lazy weekends. Now we just lounge plus one. 

Sometimes you need to get out to feel satisfied, understood, heard and sometimes all you need is the comfort of your own bed and the people that you love.

Getting into the groove of motherhood is still very much a work in progress and we have good days and more difficult ones, but a balance is forming. Every day I am healing and feeling more capable. Every day we are all learning more about what one another needs, learning how to become a family.

I feel as though with the intensity of so much new entering my life I have been holding my breath for the last month and this weekend was a big exhale.

Namaste.
Tara

For The Dads

Today we give a very big thank you to every amazing dad out there who helps fill his family's home with love and kindness. It is a big role and I'm sure it isn't always an easy one.

A special thank you to my own father and my husband who will very shortly be a father himself. I am incredibly fortunate to have such wonderful men in my life.

 My dad and me (in purple) 1988

Kellen in our nursery 2011

Happy Father's Day! 

Namaste! 

Tara

Weekend Goodness

This weekend was absolutely magical. Our baby shower went beautifully (full story and photos to come), a lovely vegetarian bbq on Sunday and waking up this morning to find an amazingly thoughtful gift sent across the country on my doorstep. I feel so incredibly fortunate and loved. Thank you everyone that helped make these last few days so special.

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them." 
~J.F.K.

Namaste.
Tara