Unfortunately there was very little rest in our home this weekend, but what we lacked in r&r and was made up in adorableness.
Ezra is still too small for chocolates and candies, but he sure did seem to get a kick out of bunnies, eggs, and gifts. I had no idea how captivating plastic eggs could possibly be until watching him with one for 20 minutes. Due to sleeplessness (crossing my fingers it's just another phase) Ezra spent a good portion of his day campaigning to be mayor of Fusstown, but with enough distractions and some good, fresh air I think he ended up enjoying himself quite a bit.
I have decided our new Easter tradition should be vegetable lasagna, gifts and fun for the little guy, and some park lounging. It was low-key and sweet, exactly as it should be.
I believe our beautiful Ezra has slept in every possible safe variation. There's been the co-sleeper, the swing, the cradle/swing, our arms in the rocker, our arms on the yoga ball, our arms while we danced, our arms while we walked, our bed, and now...finally...in HIS CRIB! After more patience than I ever thought I had in me (and more than a few meltdowns) Ezra is finally sleeping consistently in his very own, proper bed. I always knew my little guy had it in him!
We decided pretty early on (not that we really had a choice) to only do what worked when it came to all things baby. No forcing, no pressure. Wow, was that easier said than done on the sleep front. We had no choice but to be flexible and when one situation stopped working, we experimented until we found the next thing. This attitude and Ezra's ever changing sleep needs has led us down many paths with varying degrees of success, but we vowed to always keep trying.
After reading a ridiculous amount of books and articles on infant sleep, as well as listening to many friends experiences with their own children, we made a plan. A consistent, calming bedtime routine was put into place. We began to slowly wean Ezra off of the most difficult aspects of his usual sleep requirements (yoga ball, long stretches of dancing, etc...). I tried to keep the environment around sleep free from any tension, creating ease for both of us (including aroma therapy, massage, songs, cuddling) and after realizing that his overnight sleep situation was becoming unsafe (in a cradle/swing where he couldn't roll over and quickly approaching the weight limit) I brought him into our bed. I have always been a big supporter of bedsharing and did my research early on to make sure to do it in a safe and responsible way.
With Ez comfortably sleeping in our bed I thought that we had settled into a sleep arrangement that would last some time. Furniture was rearranged to best accommodate our bedsharing needs and we were all starting to get used to our new situation. But it was not to last long as I am a very sensitive sleeper and after months of getting up to every whimper and coo I found it just too much to have my little noise maker sleeping right next to me. In theory I absolutely love the idea of co-sleeping and I know that it works for many families, but I just required a break at the end of the day. Of course I am his mama 24/7, but I needed that little bit of space to call my own. Even though the bedsharing didn't work for our family it served as a perfect transition to the crib. Ezra became more comfortable with sleeping flat, created an attachment to a "lovey" (his teddy bear Theodore), and throw in his organic, flannel crib sheets and he was completely game. He will now fall asleep in my arms while eating after his nighttime routine. I will rock him into deep sleep (about 20-30 minutes) and then place him in his crib.
As frustrating as this process has been at times I am so happy that we didn't push him. There were many moments I felt torn and all the fear of coddling and manipulation was playing me against myself, against my baby. I so desperately wanted to do right by him while also maintaining some semblance of sanity. I know that rocking and/or feeding to sleep are somewhat controversial among parenting circles, but as always I am committed to doing what works. I love holding him in my arms, gazing in his eyes and knowing he feels completely safe and calm as he drifts off.
Yesterday was about the best darn day I could've imagined.
Ezra got me the best birthday gift imaginable. He slept through the night for the first time ever. THROUGH THE NIGHT, PEOPLE! FOR THE FIRST TIME, EVA! This is the most amazing thing that's happened to my personality in a long time. I've realized that I'm actually a pretty nice lady when I am able to sleep more than a couple hours in a row!
Seriously though, that boy's got some good timing. Friday morning I woke up around 5 AM wondering what had happened, where I was ...and then immediately assumed something was wrong with the baby. I ran into his room only to hear the soft hums of a babe in slumber. I quickly sprinted back into our room and jumped into bed so as not to tempt fate. Our dog witnessing the whole thing gave me the good ol' puppy head tilt and I couldn't help but start laughing. It was the perfect way to start the day.
After my early morning rousing I couldn't get back to sleep, a combination of ridiculous excitement over this new development and desire to take advantage of some alone time. It's amazing what an hour to read and drink your coffee in quiet will do for a person! For once when Ez woke up I was thrilled to hear his little whimpers and begin our day together, not my usual sloth-like, grunting morning self. The look of confusion on Ez's face when I began singing and dancing as a prepared his breakfast said it all. Who is this lady and what have you done with my grumpy pants mother?
So here's the kicker. The first time Ezra slept through the night also coincided with the hubby's "spa day" birthday present. Just too good, right? So after a full night's sleep and a home-cooked meal by Kellen (cornmeal brussels sprouts with spiced yogurt- so good!) I went and had a hot stone massage along with a manicure/pedicure. I'm a total gloating pain in the ass right now but ah, seriously, it was the best thing ever. Feel free to take a moment to hate me.
Sleep + spa day = personality transplant.
Yesterday was a big victory all around. I'm just going to bask in its glory for a bit.
Sleep- the all important ruler of the world. Without it we are unable to function, to feel good or healthy. And if you're me, a lack of it is a one way ticket to crazytown (this kind, not that one).
The last few days Ezra has begun sleeping 4-5 hours straight a night. T.H.E. B.E.S.T. T.H.I.N.G. E.V.ER. This new development is a GAME-CHANGER. Seriously, I feel so much better than I have in a long time. With something resembling a "normal" sleep schedule everything seems so much brighter, in focus.
Sleep is a beautiful thing and I am so happy to have it back in my life. Keeping in mind that everything with a newborn is flexible and open to change I sincerely hope this sleeping business is here to stay (or at the very least takes long vacations here).
First off, thank you all for your kind words. My fears about sharing the struggles I have been facing were completely calmed and your insight has helped me immensely. You are officially the best.
With the whirlwind of emotion I have been in lately I have been seeking the care and advice of a few good ladies. A couple days ago I found some time to talk to a great "mama friend" (and all around amazing gal) about all this hullaballoo. She is one of those friends who always gives you so much insight and wisdom that you almost hate how in tune she is, but then you remember that you love it. Ha! So of course when stuff started to get crazy in the old noggin' I gave her a ring and of course she was loving and patient and gave me some uber awesome advice. One of the things she said has really been resonating with me the last couple of days. Basically the gist is to allow yourself sacred space and time just for you every..single...day. Whether it's five minutes of calming meditation or an hour to take a walk, whatever brings you ease and peace of mind (and works with your schedule).
The concept is so simple and I have spoken before about making time for yourself so I completely understand how important that can be. The idea of ritualizing it though is very attractive to me. Every single day doing the same thing at the same time just for you. Obviously we can't all be that rigid with our schedules and flexibility is a virtue, but prioritizing yourself in that way I think is quite amazing. To be our best selves for the people we care about we must take care and be gentle with ourselves. We all deserve a little "me" time to regroup, refocus and sometimes just to rest.
I am trying to put this concept into action with my long baths in the morning followed by the best thing ever, the NAP. Nothing unwinds me like a nice, calming bath. I mean seriously, is there anything better than a good bath? Maybe I'm a little overzealous about the awesomeness of bathtime- friends have definitely laughed and joked about my love for them. What can I say? It makes me super happy. I allow myself time to think, relax, and soothe from whatever the day has presented. It is my mindful meditation, helping me become present and accepting. And now with the little one's arrival it also helps me heal physically. Taking some time in the water eases the tense muscles (as well as a tense mind) brought on by the physical strain of having a newborn. Follow that greatness up with a nap and you are fresh as new, with a present heart and rested body.
My dream tub. I mean c'mon, how rad is this?
Allowing myself the time and freedom to do these things, to create "sacred space" for myself, is what will allow me to be my highest self. I am fortunate enough to have a truly amazing partner that acknowledges my needs and gives me that time and space completely guilt-free. In fact it is very much encouraged. (I think he sees how much of a difference it makes and wants to keep the mean, sleep deprived lady I become far, far away!) I am filled with gratitude for this time and hope that I will continue to take advantage of it.
We all need the time and space to engage in things that bring us peace. We all need that time just for ourselves to be our best selves. Make the time I guarantee you will reap the benefits. You deserve it.
We've all been there, 3 AM after tossing and turning, your mind unable to calm down and let the day fade away, replaying past events and conversations on repeat, finding the the glaring light of the clock adding to vicious cycle of restlessness.
Sleep is important, I mean crazy important, in cultivating emotional and physical balance. Often times we don't notice its gravity until we're without. Insomnia and sleep problems can reek havoc on our lives, making us more susceptible to illness and mental instability.
I have suffered intermittently throughout my life from sleep issues that have returned with my pregnancy. I know how much bigger the problem can become than a bad night's sleep. In my case my lack of sleep coincided with bouts of depression, anger, and a weakened physical state. Thankfully this time when insomnia began rearing it's ugly head I had so much more information to help me handle the problem before it became one.
After years of anguish, many sleepless nights, and a compromised immune system, I have found several natural ways to help drift off to peaceful and substantial rest. These methods are pretty simple and straightforward, but have worked wonders for me. Everyone's bodies are different and it might take some experimenting to find what works for you, but so very worthwhile. Only when we are fully rested can we begin to approach clarity and build our strength.
Lifestyle Basics
Get to bed as early as is comfortable (10 PM is a great time for most people)
Exercise regularly (about 4 hours before sleep is ideal, but not directly before bed)
Meditate or enjoy light reading 15-30 minutes before bed
Only go to bed when you feel drowsy
Remove strong external stimuli an hour before bed (turn down lights, turn off the tv)
Establish a sleep routine (and stick with it as much as possible)
Diet
Eat a large breakfast, medium-sized lunch, a small dinner (avoid heavy meals prior to bed)
Increase your intake of Vitamin B rich foods (bananas, potatoes, avocados, legumes, kefir)
Increase your intake of Magnesium rich foods (seeds, dark leafy greens, wheat bran)
Drink a cup of hot tea before bed (chamomile*, marjoram, lemon balm, passionflower)
Limit your intake on chocolates, colas or foods containing caffeine prior to bedtime
Drinks lots of water throughout the day
Supplements
Calcium
Magnesium
Valerian (30-45 minutes prior to bedtime)
Melatonin (do not take long term, but can be very effective if used sporadically)**
Additional Sleep Aids
Use relaxation techniques in bed (visualization, progressive muscle relaxation)
Aromatherapy (lavender, chamomile, ylang ylang)
A warm bath prior to bed (not too long or too hot)
Eye masks to block the light
Avoid illuminated bedroom clocks
Don't sleep in (if you can help it)
Play calming music or soothing sounds
*Avoid chamomile if you have a ragweed allergy
** Melatonin is contraindicated during pregnancy
Sometimes a calming tune is all you need to hit the hay. Here are a few of my favorite "lull you to sleep" tracks.
