Tending Garden

"I have a garden in my backyard. The more time I spend in it, the more beautiful it becomes. Not because of the hard work, the weeding, cleaning, raking, the tasks and sweat, but because I no longer view it as separate from me. From inside the garden I no longer view it critically from arm's length as flawed, as less than perfect. 
You have a garden in your home."
- Karen Maezen Miller, Mama Zen

Hmmm...isn't that the truth? This idea has been on my mind a lot lately. I have never felt so close to Kellen and watching him with Ezra has changed our love at its core. Planning the weekly purees and the never-ending nap time struggles, laughing our butts off at Ez's new, silent film expressions and enduring the colic that seemed it would never end, creating silly songs about poop together and sharing whispered affection over our sleeping cherub, these are the things of true love.

We are enjoying the romance of no romance. The love that blossoms out of something more than an idealized version of another, the love that grows out of honesty and spit up, I now see more than ever that this is something special.

No one has seen me so very low and no one has loved me so well. This year has by far been the most intense and overwhelming year of my life and I will admit that I have not taken every step in stride. My hormones, my body, and my perspective have fluctuated more than I thought possible these last many months and this has not always made me the kindest or most attentive wife. I have battled depression like never before and seen unfortunate sides of myself I wasn't aware existed. And through every up and down, I have been loved.

I am so fortunate to have such an incredibly loving, honest, ridiculously hilarious and good hearted partner. Half of the most beautiful, awe-inspiring thing I have ever done, his support and amazing patience have been the glue holding this last year together. He is the laid back yin to my neurotic yang and I honestly could not imagine doing any of this without him. He is an amazing, involved, and patient parent and I couldn't love him more.

With our powers combined we create SUPERPARENT! Ha! More like SUPERNERD!
 
This weekend we joyfully celebrated five years of marriage with an overnight trip to Lawrence, KS (a little over an hour away). We were married there and go back every year for our anniversary to thrift, enjoy live music, and eat incredible food. It's our little oasis, a place for us to celebrate each other and our love. I am so excited for our little annual get away (and our first trip together since Ez has been born).

Married (2007)- We actually did it!

 1st anniversary (2008)- Good, old-fashioned fun.

 

 2nd anniversary (2009)- Oh, how I miss that beard!

 3rd anniversary (2010)- Kellen found $100 bill in a thrifted jacket/peephole pictures

 4th anniversary (2011)- Looking and feeling very pregnant.

We typically stay an entire weekend, but with the little guy at home we simply made it an overnight affair. It was very low-key and perfect, exactly what we needed. We window browsed, drank a few speciality brews, and slept in (until 8 AM- Ha!).

We arrived home feeling like it had all gone by a little too quickly, but so thankful to be able to share that little bit of time together. This year has been a crazy whirlwind, but we know that we will always come back to the love that we share.

5 years strong (and I still can't take a non-blurry photo in a hotel room!)

Wishing you all a love-filled week!

Tara

Hello There, Old Friend!

I know lately Joyful Yoga has been a little skimpy on the yoga lately, but that would be because my life has been lacking in that department as of late. At the end of my pregnancy I tried to maintain a semi-regular yoga routine, which mostly consisted of a few restorative postures and some breathing meditations a couple of times a week (if I was lucky). Honestly most of the time I wasn't in the mood and neither was my body. I always felt better after my abbreviated sessions, especially in my third trimester, and I know that is because I didn't push it. I listened to my body and was greatly rewarded.

Now that Ezra has joined us and I have begun to get more comfortable with this mommy business I am looking forward to getting back into a regular practice. I miss my peaceful mornings, stretching and moving with the breaking day, allowing the quiet in and simply breathing through each moment as it comes. Ah- I miss yoga!

Although I am not sure if I will have a consistent practice back for awhile (newborns mockingly laugh at any kind of schedule), I am so ready to reintroduce my mind and my body to the practice. As I heal from my c-section I know that gentle movements and calming pranayama will aid in my recovery process. And what better for a new mama (still processing the birth and everything that followed) than some guided meditation?

My husband has pretty much become my all time hero throughout this last month (well year really) and as a part of that title watches Ezra every morning so I can take as much time as I need to catch up on my sleep, shower, eat, or just relax on the couch with a good book. With my mornings open and as the little one begins to sleep more hopefully I will be able to use some of that precious time for yoga and meditation.

Maybe I will begin tomorrow - nothing to strenuous, just some simple postures and breathing. How exciting to return to something that has always brought me so much joy!

Namaste!
Tara

Mini Vaca

I had such an absolutely amazing weekend with the hubby! We celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary with a little mini-vacation filled with second hand shopping, park strolling, eye gazing, and cute baby adoration. It was perfect! Although the sun really took it out of me and so much walking was a little bit more difficult than I had imagined, I really think we made the most of our little get-away in celebration of our marriage. We successfully enjoyed this last hoorah to our pre-baby selves.

So much gratitude.

Namaste!
Tara

Not Just For Lovers, But For All Of Those Who Love

"I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.'"
- Kurt Vonnegut

In our family we like to keep Valentine's Day pretty low key. In years past we have celebrated with gifts, slumber party/movie nights, and a couple wine soaked evenings on the town. With Kellen's schedule a night together is not a possibility this year, so I will be attending a production of The Vagina Monologues at a local university. Having seen the show several times and been involved in a few productions, I'm thrilled to celebrate and support V-Day and a few close friends involved with this year's show. What a great way to spend a Valentine's Day!

Although I would love to spend tonight with my man, I'm looking forward to my evening out. I am incredibly blessed with a kind and abundantly loving husband. Everyday is a new adventure in which I am encouraged and loved and what more could anyone ask for? Gratitude. Gratitude. Gratitude.

This Valentine's Day can be whatever you'd like it to be. Let it be a celebration of romantic love, friendship, familial relationships, self love, the love of a pet, the love of an environment, the love of living, etc... Valentine's Day is not just for lovers, but for all of those who love.

Whatever your relationship status, remember to share love with yourself and those around you today and everyday. And now some fun and entertaining V-day posts....
Gala Darling- A Valentine's Day Blessing
Yoga Journal- The Bhakti of Valentine's Day
Feministing- A Few Thought On The Nature Of Feminist Lovin'
Everything Yoga: Celebrating Valentine's Day Yogi Style

First wedding anniversary, 2008

In true Valentine's Day fashion I thought I would post Kellen's and my song. A song has never been officially declared, but this tune is close to both of our hearts as it was on constant repeat the first several weeks of our courtship. Whenever I hear it I am taken back to that amazing whirlwind that was the beginning of it all.

The live version. 

"If I die clutching your photograph 
Don't call me boring
It's just cause I like you"
- The Start of Something by Voxtrot

Happy Valentines Day!
Namaste!
Tara